Tribute To My Mother

There is really no feeling to explain the blow that hit me, the moments when I realized my mother would have been a happy woman today. 

Quite like experiencing a horrific tragedy or going through something so confidential and personal that no one else in the world could understand, going through the journey of life without such an essential part of yourself is something incomprehensible and hard to accept as fate. 

It's been over two months since she passed away, and every day of my life, it feels like it only happened just about an hour ago, while other times, I always feel like it never happened and took it as rumour just because of her face I see every day.

No one knows where she is or what world she's into after death, but I see myself wishing that I could understand her lately. 

My mum's death makes me remember so many things, yes, of course, like her moral but friendly attitude and consistency in giving the four of her children all that she could as a single mother. It's surprising to hear people I hardly talk to tell me that she gave all her children her simple nature, small on the outside but tenacious on the inside. I wish I could donate an award to these people.

I wish my mum could continue smiling at me when my heart is broken, and the going goes tough in the most supportive way that only a mother is capable of.

I wish she could wait to see her little last boy and how intelligent he's becoming despite the incredible hindrances and obstacles caused by your absence. I wish she could stay for her first child serving the nation to see her first grandchild.

I wish you could wait for your 3rd born as he's making a way in his life out of the brilliance he inherited from you. Oh yes, I wish you wait to experience how I, myself, will also make it and take care of you.

We can never get enough from you; we all turned your photographs into a daily routine we must always look at to remind us of the life we've shared.

You let us know we should be accommodating to strangers, and we are still up on that; I often wonder what she could have taught us if she was still here.

I keep imagining the life lessons we are missing out on that other women would only try to do and can never be like my mother, especially when we start giving trouble. When they see how well we can disturb, they would probably leave us to our destiny which would never be if you were still watching over us.

Mrs Ayo-Akano

I wonder who will be convincing me to leave any lady who causes me so many tears when love has already blocked my brain; when you single-handedly face the whole responsibility of a family for years, what more won't you do? 

Yes, if she could have helped herself during the struggle of choosing whether to accept a marital rival or stay lonely. 

What more can she not do to make her children's relationship work out. Sometimes I think life might have turned around just with my mother's loving and helping hand to guide us through it all and make it a little easier. 

You served all your children but waited to witness only one of them graduating. We pictured you smiling at our graduation; you could have been there, hearing our names being called right after the other, and then you would have been a proud mother; I know you would have cheered like a happy woman.

We never knew we were proposing, but God's plan was different.  

I can see our weddings in the future, missing one essential person, a somber memory floating around amongst a happy celebration. 

I needlessly hope that I don't die before my children are ready, as I know the suffering and loss that ensues from such a confusing event in a young life.

Of course, we wish you could have said goodbye and given us one big hug before you had to go. I wish mumsy's life could have ended in a very peaceful, complacent place rather than amidst the hard times, struggles, and pain she was going through before that last day.

I just hope that wherever you are, you are enjoying the cool weather; I hope she's sitting on a posh seat watching how her children are doing great things with God's mercy shining on her back and front. 

 I hope she's in that sound, happy state that I remember loving with all my heart, the one that only came around every so often. 

Most of all, however, I hope she has the peace she never quite found here on Earth, and I hope she is smiling, knowing all of her children will take her wherever they go.

I can't write enough of this as tears are rolling down my cheek already. At the time of writing this for you, I know you are watching me and nodding your head, saying you are so proud of the fruits you left.

All that we didn't do in your presence, I and my brothers will never do it in your absence as it is the only thing we could do that would make you happy over there. 

Mum, we loved you, we love you, and we will forever love you. Rest in perfect peace and please send your affection to us; we can't do it alone. 😒

Ayo-Akano Hamid Ayokunmi

19/08/2015

cc; Ayo-Akano Sheriffdeen Abimbola

     Ayo-Akano Hafiz Ayokunle

     Ayo-Akano Habib Ifeoluwa